I also must send a thank you to everyone who has stopped in thus far and all of my real-life friends who have begun passing my blog address on to others.  You all make such a difference in the live’s of us all!  With one reach of a hand, another reaches to the next.  Let’s keep reaching these hands and soon we will all be connected and smiling. 

The topic of today’s post is living simple and simply living.  When divorce comes, it is all too common that finances and money are the largest issue.  Depending on the situation most couples have trouble splitting things up.  Money and assets can become the largest mountain requiring conquer.  For me, this is true.  I have laughed about splitting the snowmobiles up with a chainsaw more than once.  The feelings of helplessness and sadness for loss of lifestyle can prove damaging to emotional well-being and worse, the ego.  It really is all in the way we look at things though.  We all have the choice to take barriers and morph them into open doors to new and better lives. 

At the time I filed for divorce, we were financially secure (to my knowledge), owing to hard work on both of our parts as business people.  The day after I filed for the divorce, the savings seemed to have disappeared.  In the marriage control of finances was my husband’s ”job”.  I had requested access to accounts and account information almost monthly but was never allowed in the loop.  When I gained access through the divorce and saw the timeline of all the accounts, I was mortified.   I found them all drained, and it wasn’t I who did the dirty deed.  There I sat with head in hands on a pile of debt, with three little ducklings following me and a Great Dane that required at least, food.  I had to find a way to meet basic needs.  As most in this horrific situation would do, I acted immediately and sought out support from friends, family and my community.  The support I found was what stopped us from losing everything.  The shock could have debilitated me however, looking at the eyes of my children forced my pride out the window and the fight for survival began.  You must survive before you can begin to grow. Survive to Thrive 

I turned to knowledge for help as well.  I read a book called Possum Living, written by: Dolly Freed and it changed my view of our situation immensely!  This book, written in the 1970′s minimalist, naturalist, survivalist era.  The teachings and tips in this book helped me remember how living simple truly is rewarding in a non-socially competitive sort of way.  Simplicity rewards my inner self more so than feeding the ache to buy the hottest new shoes Geisel appeared in on the red carpet.  Our family was used to a somewhat cushy life all-inclusive of a local weekly maid service, Arbonne, weekends spent at Boyne Mountain and Solace Spa, fabulous parties and Coach bags.  We were not rich but from what I saw, we seemed to do well.  My children had the liberty of taking part in all activities that caught their interest (with good behavior) and did not want for anything.  When the shock hit that we were basically penniless, I needed something to blast light on the situation and help me make it positive for all of us.   Possum Living was the ticket and it got me thinking about the calming simplicity of our newfound existence in a whole new way.

From where we are now, looking back, I stand by many of the teachings found in this phenomenal read.  The peaceful still we now practice as a family is something I never wish to replace with brand names and hot new fads again.  I have decided that my children are better off with bits of simplicity, modern comforts and tons of real-life experience.  Simple is best, it is not easy when it’s mandatory however, choosing to mold a lifestyle of it is liberating.   

Yes, we have cable… No, we do not cry when the money isn’t there to order a movie anymore.  Instead, we take out a board game or go for a walk as a family.  We are coming from a place where we had no choice but to live the “simple possum” life and in contemplation, I now choose to live a “half-possumming” life.  I bake bread and we make gifts for holidays.  Our family has merged into this lifestyle out of need but, to my surprise in talking with the kids, they don’t fully want to go back either.  Simple makes room for quality.  Quality makes for a happy bonded family unit. 

Give  Possum Living a chance if you are struggling with downsizing or you just may feel that the modern “keepin’ up with the Jones” lifestyle is proving lackluster for you.  Every obstacle we face, we must meet with positive thought and ambition to grow.  Wishing you positive karma and a fabulous day, re-invention is a gift!

P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts on living simply and how you do it!

Last night as I was working through yet another bite from my creative buglet, I decided it is time to begin blogging my progress to our new life.  I have been in the midst of divorce since July of 2009 and I believe I am now ready to share with the world.  My Facebook profile has become a sort of empowerment page from my friends and family are saying.  I have recently been bombarded by emails and posts telling me how my story articulating our process is inspiring.  Frankly, I needed the boost and it got me thinking.  If my friends and family who aren’t divorcing find my musings inspiring, imagine what it could do for someone who is struggling just as I have.  I want to help.  I am just a normal gal, 28 years old, with three munchkin’s to think of.  I think there may be more of us out there that could use a pat on the back than I thought.  So, here I am!  I will not promise you enlightenment, sense of calm, or even that my ideas will work for you.  I can only promise honesty, a real perspective and view of our progressive journey to this new life I am building.  Thank you for joining me on this road.  I hope in time you will be happy that you have! 

Stay Positive, Karma Truly Exists!